Friday, March 5, 2010

Abyssomania is Running Wild

OK, so I've been in absolute awe of the TNA product. The Hulk Hogan promos (especially dealing with Abyss) lately have done things like 1) move me to burly tears 2) enliven my senses as I ride on the wave of Hulka/Abyssomania 3) give me faith that wrestling can satisfy narratological, emotional needs. There's no more truth in television than when you hear Hogan admit to mind-numbing pain waking his muscular ass up every morning because he's given his soul (seriously, Mark Calaway) to the business of entertaining chumps like me.

And now TNA, this coming Monday, will go head to head with the colossal E. How will they fare? Who knows, but I'm sure they won't overtake them in one week. But comparing the two products right now, I know who I'd be watching if I weren't screening a film for my freshmen writing seminar students. I'm even seriously considering restructuring my syllabus around Mondays so that I can be there for the Monday Night Wars, v2.

As for the E, I've been pretty bored as of late. The Shawn Michaels/Undertaker match seems more interesting now that there are stipulations for HBK, but what kind of booking does this mean? Will Taker's streak come to an end? Probably, unless this is HBK's retirement match, which makes enough sense, though would still be abrupt. I think it is a bad move to end the Streak, ever, as it makes Taker a mere mortal, which is not what we are paying to see. Or stealing to see as the case, etc.

Big match for Bret Hart, huh? I wonder what the match will be like considering the Loyd's payout Bret received years ago. I just hope he gets in good enough shape to don the black and pink and look good. There's nothing worse than an old-guy wrestler performing in a big t-shirt. Buff-up Bret! Bring back the Canadian hero. And be sure to use the Sharpshooter. If not, I'll demand my sixty dollars back.

Friday Night Smackdown tonight, but I'm not even sure what's happening on the B show (as I don't even know that much about the A show right now). I'll definitely DVR it, but who knows what I'll do while watching it--grading papers, ironing clothes, cleaning the oven, organizing the My Documents folder, ordering from campusfood.com, or maybe having a social life.

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