Raw is...

OK, so I was trying to decide whether to suffer through the usual banalities on Monday Night Raw or continue feeling awesome while playing God of War II (thanks C-vay!). I was going to just play on through the "Edge of Creation" level, but catching Vincent Kennedy McMahon's promo while setting up my DVR, I knew that tonight may be (hopefully will be) different.

McMahon's delivery brings back the days of controversial, interesting storylines, hardline and deep characters, and snazzy all gray suit and tie combos. His speech centered on well-known critiques of WWE, particularly that there is not any young promise, not as much action, etc. He called the crowd hypocrites for wanting Bret Hart back, which is true. An aging, motion-challenged Hart is not what the promotion needs, at least not as much as upcoming talent. And I am guilty of this as much as anyone. I'd much rather see Hart speak from an arm-chair than watch most of the undercard at WWE. Because what he is saying is true; even if it is an asshole position, McMahon's promo involves us emotionally.

This is how to write storylines, creative: have the pressure of reality, let your angles dig into the audience and piss them off, give them what they want, but harder, too hard for comfort. This is a way to make Hart relevant today.

The Undertaker just interrupted the action, sporting a beautifully died beard. Now he's cutting a promo on both VKM and HBK, pointing a j'accuse at McMahon, and addressing HBK's challenge for a two in the row for Wrestlemania.

While Michaels is sauntering to the ring, I'll give you a recap of last year's match. Michaels v. Undertaker was easily the highlight of Wrestlemania 25, and probably the highlight of both of their later careers. Undertaker's epic streak went unbroken; Michaels saved face by kicking out of a tombstone.

And thank God the Undertaker just denied Shawn Michaels a rematch. Now some photo op, some slightly embarrassing talk of souls. One of the main problems with the WWE is that it overscripts things. Everything is overdetermined. It is not enough that the Undertaker have a cool entrance made meaningful by basically campy promos twenty years ago, but he still has to say the same things as then.

Next up, Sheamus and "the most-highflying-jobber" Evan Bourne--who should really be the next 1-2-3 Kid, but isn't, due to the lack of imagination for guys under 200 pounds in WWE creative. At least he just got a Razor's Edge from Sheamus, something early nineties Sean Waltman would have felt privileged to take.

Pointless comedy ensues.

Guest Host issue. OK, so the guest host, a usually unconnected celebrity, picks sides--babyface or heel. Their job is to create drama on the show and plug their new stuff. Got it. This time it's Nash Bridges (known to many as Don Johnson) and the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite (something Heder). So they're split down the middle, Nash likes DX and Napoleon is friends with the Miz. Alright. But the big dramatic main event... DX v. Miz and Big Show? Can I think of a more boring attraction? I might just switch the channel and watch Leno or perhaps public access television.

I understand the necessity of exhibition matches. I really do. But to have someone who seems to be on WWE TV because he thinks the concept is funny and ironic hype an epic battle, one that is "new" to use his exact words, between DX and Jerishow minus the charismatic half and adding a random midcarder is pretty much as lame as it gets. Well, there will probably be more awkward Diva/Hornswoggle/DX humor later on.

At least there was a cute moment when Napoleon leaped into Big Show's arms and seems to have surprised the giant with a kiss on the cheek. Show has a great grin when its genuine, and I bet he's a hell of a nice guy in person.

Overall, the show is better than last week's, mainly because of McMahon's promo. The Trips "turn" on HBK (just for the Rumble) was ok, but botched due to a delay in Cena's interruption music (you can see HBK yell "finally"). But we didn't get Bret Hart, and we didn't get any astounding wrestling. Maybe next week...